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SO
I was a watching fantasia on you tube
its SUCH and awesome movie
but after not seeing it in all these years
I realize that fantasia actually helped shape who I am
for a VERY early age
I remember
when I was 3
(yes, I can remember that far.
I am pretty sure most people can
but my parents dont believe me.)
every saterday morning
my dad would strap me into a little bike-seat he had made for me
one that was attached to his big bike
so that it was like a seat over the back wheel
(I used to have a wagon tied to the back of his bike
but I was a VERY curious baby
and would often fall out while he was riding
this way, I was belted in the seat
so there were no accidents.
I remember that he DUCT TAPED that damn seat down
there was NO WAY I was falling out.
Moving on)
So we would ride on his bike
to the library across the train tracks
it was a HUGE library
(or at least thats the way I remember it.
I do remember revisiting it once when I was 13, and it was downright dinky
it seemed so big when I was young)
One with marble stairs and columns
and my father would set me lose
I would always go to get 1 doctor suess book
and then the movie fantasia
ALWAYS
I never changed
I always got THE SAME THING
EVERY WEEKEND
my dad actually used to get annoyed
becuase he would have to check-out the same movie
and the same few books
and once I was done making my selection
I would go up the marble stairs
in this ridiculous run/crawl/scramble
and play with the dolls the library had placed upstairs for children
it even had a house!
its was a plastic house, which, if you looked from above, would resemble a + sign
so that all the rooms where open, and mutiple children could play
they had LOTS of dolls
not barbies
but these plastic dolls, where the clothes are part of the plastic
and the hair is plastic,
like, everything is part of the molding
prolly a cheaper, more generic brand
like this:
my dad once told me that I used to be a brat
and that any girl that had my favorite doll
(a blonde one, with green eyes and a pink dress)
I would beat the other girl up until she let go
so I could play with it
thought I conveniently DONT remember that part
:)
ANYWAY
when we got home
my dad would watch fantasia with me
or let me watch it alone
or mom would watch it with me
it just depended on who was in the room
as long as it wasnt me sister, who would turn it off to annoy me
and then I would cry
and she would get yelled at
and then she would have to turn it back on AND watch it with me
now, I remember WATCHING the movie when I was a child
but I dont remember the movie itself
so watching it now....
just affirmed where alot of my imagination actually COMES from
which is amazing to me
examples:
night on bald mountain
when I was a child
THIS WOULD SCARE THE EVER LOVNG SHIT OUTTA ME
srsly
but I would watch it over and over and over again with the rest of the movie
and I now realize where my nightmares came from
i can remember the SAME occurances from this in my nightmares
the giant bat thing
the ghouls
the naked harpies
and alot of my other inventions from the mind
had all turned into terrible, night mares
(strange thing from when I was a child
I had really bad dreams
my parents would always worry about how bad they were
becuase every other night, I would have one
and wake up screaming, crying, a halucinating
usually they were so bad that I couldnt sleep the rest of the night on my own
I would just turn on my TV and watch looney toons until I was too tired to stay awake
my parents tried EVERYTHING
a night light
a humidifier (which my doctor said might help)
soothing music
NOTHING worked
until one day, my dad bought me a real dream catcher from oklahoma
from that day one, bad dreams were few a far all together
the even funnier thing:
I still have that old dream catcher too
2 years ago I punctured it, thus creating a hole in the middle
so now it dosent work
so now, I do occationally get nightmares
once a week I would say
but now that I am older, they interest me
instead of scare me)
I also remember that I would see shapes in my moms cigarette smoke when she used to smoke in our old house
shapes that GREATLY resembled the ghouls/ghosts rsing from the water in this segment
I could stare at a lit cigarette for HOURS
(if it was left that long)
and watch the smoke rise
and I would make scary shapes
of spirits and bones
out of the fume
I USED TO LOVE THESE THINGS
my god
this was my FAVORITE PART
I would rewind it over and over
much to my parents dismay
I saw in a home video that I had named the smallest mushroom 'smeak'
I only know this becuase in the video, I was SCREAMING the name when it came on
'mom, mom, theres smeak!'
and she would proceed to ask me who smeak was
and I would say the pink tree
(I can only assume that, at the time, I didnt know what mushrooms were
therefore, I substituted there shapes for trees, and moved on)
this may contribute to my EXTREME liking of mushrooms now
they have to be my FAVORITE fungus
or plant
(which they technically, are not)
plus, they are the tastiest damn thing EVER
this was my second favorite part of the whole movie
I just loved the centuars and thier romance
It used to make me want a 'boyfriend' (from what I knew about them at that age) SO bad
(yes, I was one of the few children who, at the time didnt find boys icky.
in fact, all I wanted to do was kiss them. Which worried my teachers/counselors)
now that I watch it again, it sheds light on why I think of romance the way I do now
something sweet, sudden, and magical
often times, him coming to me first
I also used to HATE those little cupid things
I HATED THEM SO MUCH
maybe thats a sign of my dislike of children in the future?
maybe not, since now that I watch it again, I think they are SO DAMN CUTE
they're little blushing bootys are SO adorable
(so...I am hoping this isnt a sign of pedophilia)
Another thing I noticed:
I draw centaurs like that
what I mean is in that style
long torso, so that it looks like a human
but a petite horse body
most of my centuars are chibi
with long dragging hair
with flowers in it
and the centaur colors match
last one
this one, I used to like
but not as much as I do now
mostly becuase I realized:
this is EXACTLY how i see seasons now
its not something you think about alot
the changing of seasons
but when I was younger I wondered how they changed
and by whom
I came to the conclusion of FAIRYS when I was young
and stuck to that mentality
so that when I got older
I would frequently go outside, and try to catch a fall, winter, spring, or summer fairy
obvioulsy I never suceeded,
but I had always wondered where the idea came from
also, there is the usual things:
I visualize faires with bug wings
tiny, colorful, glowing bodys
and they dont talk
but everyone does that
thats just the defult fairy setting
I also used to fantisize about dandelions lighting up when I was young
yes, I did
it usually happened around the middle school age
and when I would day dream in a particularly boring class
dandelions would light up and sparkle in my mind
I suppose this is where it came from
so that was my discovery for the day
I found out that all my fantasys and such things
STEM FROM DISNEY
and if you notice, sometimes thats not a good thing
Disney has a way of slipping in corrupt little things
Point and case, sunflower, the slave centuar:
I was a watching fantasia on you tube
its SUCH and awesome movie
but after not seeing it in all these years
I realize that fantasia actually helped shape who I am
for a VERY early age
I remember
when I was 3
(yes, I can remember that far.
I am pretty sure most people can
but my parents dont believe me.)
every saterday morning
my dad would strap me into a little bike-seat he had made for me
one that was attached to his big bike
so that it was like a seat over the back wheel
(I used to have a wagon tied to the back of his bike
but I was a VERY curious baby
and would often fall out while he was riding
this way, I was belted in the seat
so there were no accidents.
I remember that he DUCT TAPED that damn seat down
there was NO WAY I was falling out.
Moving on)
So we would ride on his bike
to the library across the train tracks
it was a HUGE library
(or at least thats the way I remember it.
I do remember revisiting it once when I was 13, and it was downright dinky
it seemed so big when I was young)
One with marble stairs and columns
and my father would set me lose
I would always go to get 1 doctor suess book
and then the movie fantasia
ALWAYS
I never changed
I always got THE SAME THING
EVERY WEEKEND
my dad actually used to get annoyed
becuase he would have to check-out the same movie
and the same few books
and once I was done making my selection
I would go up the marble stairs
in this ridiculous run/crawl/scramble
and play with the dolls the library had placed upstairs for children
it even had a house!
its was a plastic house, which, if you looked from above, would resemble a + sign
so that all the rooms where open, and mutiple children could play
they had LOTS of dolls
not barbies
but these plastic dolls, where the clothes are part of the plastic
and the hair is plastic,
like, everything is part of the molding
prolly a cheaper, more generic brand
like this:
my dad once told me that I used to be a brat
and that any girl that had my favorite doll
(a blonde one, with green eyes and a pink dress)
I would beat the other girl up until she let go
so I could play with it
thought I conveniently DONT remember that part
:)
ANYWAY
when we got home
my dad would watch fantasia with me
or let me watch it alone
or mom would watch it with me
it just depended on who was in the room
as long as it wasnt me sister, who would turn it off to annoy me
and then I would cry
and she would get yelled at
and then she would have to turn it back on AND watch it with me
now, I remember WATCHING the movie when I was a child
but I dont remember the movie itself
so watching it now....
just affirmed where alot of my imagination actually COMES from
which is amazing to me
examples:
night on bald mountain
when I was a child
THIS WOULD SCARE THE EVER LOVNG SHIT OUTTA ME
srsly
but I would watch it over and over and over again with the rest of the movie
and I now realize where my nightmares came from
i can remember the SAME occurances from this in my nightmares
the giant bat thing
the ghouls
the naked harpies
and alot of my other inventions from the mind
had all turned into terrible, night mares
(strange thing from when I was a child
I had really bad dreams
my parents would always worry about how bad they were
becuase every other night, I would have one
and wake up screaming, crying, a halucinating
usually they were so bad that I couldnt sleep the rest of the night on my own
I would just turn on my TV and watch looney toons until I was too tired to stay awake
my parents tried EVERYTHING
a night light
a humidifier (which my doctor said might help)
soothing music
NOTHING worked
until one day, my dad bought me a real dream catcher from oklahoma
from that day one, bad dreams were few a far all together
the even funnier thing:
I still have that old dream catcher too
2 years ago I punctured it, thus creating a hole in the middle
so now it dosent work
so now, I do occationally get nightmares
once a week I would say
but now that I am older, they interest me
instead of scare me)
I also remember that I would see shapes in my moms cigarette smoke when she used to smoke in our old house
shapes that GREATLY resembled the ghouls/ghosts rsing from the water in this segment
I could stare at a lit cigarette for HOURS
(if it was left that long)
and watch the smoke rise
and I would make scary shapes
of spirits and bones
out of the fume
I USED TO LOVE THESE THINGS
my god
this was my FAVORITE PART
I would rewind it over and over
much to my parents dismay
I saw in a home video that I had named the smallest mushroom 'smeak'
I only know this becuase in the video, I was SCREAMING the name when it came on
'mom, mom, theres smeak!'
and she would proceed to ask me who smeak was
and I would say the pink tree
(I can only assume that, at the time, I didnt know what mushrooms were
therefore, I substituted there shapes for trees, and moved on)
this may contribute to my EXTREME liking of mushrooms now
they have to be my FAVORITE fungus
or plant
(which they technically, are not)
plus, they are the tastiest damn thing EVER
this was my second favorite part of the whole movie
I just loved the centuars and thier romance
It used to make me want a 'boyfriend' (from what I knew about them at that age) SO bad
(yes, I was one of the few children who, at the time didnt find boys icky.
in fact, all I wanted to do was kiss them. Which worried my teachers/counselors)
now that I watch it again, it sheds light on why I think of romance the way I do now
something sweet, sudden, and magical
often times, him coming to me first
I also used to HATE those little cupid things
I HATED THEM SO MUCH
maybe thats a sign of my dislike of children in the future?
maybe not, since now that I watch it again, I think they are SO DAMN CUTE
they're little blushing bootys are SO adorable
(so...I am hoping this isnt a sign of pedophilia)
Another thing I noticed:
I draw centaurs like that
what I mean is in that style
long torso, so that it looks like a human
but a petite horse body
most of my centuars are chibi
with long dragging hair
with flowers in it
and the centaur colors match
last one
this one, I used to like
but not as much as I do now
mostly becuase I realized:
this is EXACTLY how i see seasons now
its not something you think about alot
the changing of seasons
but when I was younger I wondered how they changed
and by whom
I came to the conclusion of FAIRYS when I was young
and stuck to that mentality
so that when I got older
I would frequently go outside, and try to catch a fall, winter, spring, or summer fairy
obvioulsy I never suceeded,
but I had always wondered where the idea came from
also, there is the usual things:
I visualize faires with bug wings
tiny, colorful, glowing bodys
and they dont talk
but everyone does that
thats just the defult fairy setting
I also used to fantisize about dandelions lighting up when I was young
yes, I did
it usually happened around the middle school age
and when I would day dream in a particularly boring class
dandelions would light up and sparkle in my mind
I suppose this is where it came from
so that was my discovery for the day
I found out that all my fantasys and such things
STEM FROM DISNEY
and if you notice, sometimes thats not a good thing
Disney has a way of slipping in corrupt little things
Point and case, sunflower, the slave centuar:
Loco: my MIND baby
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