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So its spring break and I had like, the biggest death note CRAZYNESS ever last week. I just realized how much I really like that show. I mean, I knew I liked it, BUT DAAAAMMMMN. I saw the ending too. It was…well….yeah. It made me cry….for like…15 minutes straight. I couldn’t help but replay it over and over. I love light SO much, but I think when he died, and his eyes got soft, it reminded me of a child. I child who just realized that he had just looked at things the wrong way, and that he couldn’t have been something….different. It left me feeling so empty and depressed. So I ate some comfort chocolate and LOOKED UP YAOI. Yes. I. Did.
Anyway (if you can tear your eyes away from the LOVELY image above), I watched a movie about 20 minutes ago, and It got me really abstract thinking. I feel like writing, gives someone a chance to play god. To create their own world, to make something, make people, actions, places, objects. To construct a world all our own.
It really is like playing god. Even the people you create, though you can control their moves, you choose not to and let the personality your made form them, do it themselves. I wonder if the world that I know, the world we live in now, is nothing more than adolescent boy (or girl) dreaming, creating and eventually writing story. A story of people who go adventures, save the world, and make magic just by living. Lots call god a less epic name, like….Claire (because I think this world, as tragic and beautiful as it is, can only have been created by a gender who can appreciate its beauty. Hell, maybe in Claries world, they don’t have genders, or names.) But right now, Claire (or Bobby, to be fair) is creating. Making mountains, and oceans, sheep and meadows, wheat, jellyfish, boxes, feathers, children, moss, rainwater, everything. Its amazing to think everything was created by someone (or multiple people, maybe it’s a joint story…). I wonder who the main character is? The antagonist or protagonist? The damsel in distress? The plucky sidekick? The introduction? The Finale? The climax? That’s why I like writing so much. It gives me a chance to create, create a world I don’t live in. I can make characters, some I wouldn’t even get along with in real life, and let them go in a world all my own. I can watch them make things out of the materials I have given them, watch them prosper and live together. I can cause hardships and force them to become one. I can watch them as they do terrible things, things I didn’t intend. I wonder at what point does a god of their own world let go? This sounds silly, but what would be the point of creating a characters personality if I controlled everything they did? If I make an evil protagonist, I could make them do only good, but it wouldn’t be real (because them being evil…protagony escapes them.). And its not just a writer than can play god. A photographer can find the hidden world in everyday things, in sense; create their own world within our world. An artist can create drawings of people from their world, people who no one thinks exists, theta they are just ink and paper. But a real artist knows that once a place/character/anything is thought of, its real, putting it on paper just proves it. I personally, like all these things. I can create my characters on written page, fin turn them if you will, and create things you couldn’t see in a drawing. I could create them on ink and paper, and show others what they would look like, if they were in my world. I can take pictures from the world I live in, and make it resemble the world I am god of, to try and make others understand (though….that is difficult….). The possibilities are endless…
But I suppose, that’s a sort of prospect no one will really understand. After all, I’m not like my characters, my people. I live in a different world. Its difficult, being god. You create these people, this land, out of the hope of being there. No god would create a land they didn’t truly want to live in themselves (for the most part). I create this world, this land in my head, because its my escape from this world I live in, that I hate. Its nerve racking, because I can never go there. I wonder if that’s how the god we worship (or…the one other people worship.) feels. He made this world as an escape from the world he lives in, and just wants to be free, in the world he created, with the people who love/worship him (again, for the most part). I also wonder if he thinks the false stories his people write about him are humorous. He probably does. I know that if MY people made tales about me like THAT, I would be a bit amused. Its…funny…to think this way. I wonder if anyone has ever thought of this before….
Its probably not a good idea to put in on the internet. Then again, maybe it is. I can’t exactly ask the god of the world that I live in, so I don’t know.
Maybe the reason I am like this is because I saw ‘Bridge to Terabithia”. Now, I will warn, it’s a good movie, in a bad way. I was expecting more magic, and adventure. It was…more of a realistic drama. It surprised me that what really happened….happened. I keep thinking that there is some kind of magical loophole (watch the movie kiddies, or you won’t understand). But in my defense, the reality (and some of the magic) was done rather poorly. The only really well done thing about the movie was how the humans behaved. It was…emotional. The main character should have cried more when he figured out what happened to Leslie. Also what happened to Leslie should not have been shoved in our faces so bluntly so that we didn’t believe it was real and that it MUST have had some magical explanation (that’s what I thought. I kept telling myself that it DIDN’T happen and that the magic would take over). Although, I liked the ending, how Terabithia came back, and that he shared it. I know I felt utterly horrible when it disappeared. It would have SUCKED if it was gone forever. It’s a good movie, but not a favorite. It leaves you with an empty feeling like ‘That’s it?’. It ends so abruptly. Also, I think Disney marketed it SO wrong. I was expecting a Narnia makeover, but I got a drama clevarly diguised as a kids movie. Disney ALWAYS does this though. They did it with Tuck Everlasting too. It could be watched by a kid, but I dont think a child could understand the themes its represents. Plus, I am sure a child would have gotten bored of it after a while. It definetly was not a kids movie, it just leaves you so drained and empty feeling. I mean, I cried for about 2 minutes, for shock, and then nothing. Buuuuut there is a good part in the movie (one that I dont think kids or christian parents would be too happy about). My ABSOLUTE FAVORITE PART EVER OMG, was when they were talking about god. It pretty much screamed how I truly feel about god OUT FRIGGIN LOUD.
Really, go see that movie just for that one part. It is worth it. If she didn’t go to hell, neither am I.
Really, go see that movie just for that one part. It is worth it. If she didn’t go to hell, neither am I.
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