so....this time last year...
I had been at a farwell party for harry potter at barnes & noble at concord mills
me, marisa, alex, and marisa's younger sister had decided to dress up, and go
(haha, I was pavati :D)

I mean, it was going to be the LAST party like this
and we had never been to these things (I always pre-order my books)
so we figured, it would be fun

it was

we met up with sarah, and had the time of our lives
running around the store with the other harry potter nerds
reading old books HP from off the shelves
quizing eachother
we even got interviewed by a film crew about our obsession with harry potter
AND, our parents saved us a place in line at midnight
I was the SECOND PERSON in the WHOLE STORE to get my book
and this probably sounds ridiculous, but I ran to get my copy
the whole crowd in line was cheering
and the minute the book touched my fingers
it
was
like
magic
I started to cry

here, in my hands, was the end of harry potter
I had never felt such a sudden burst of euphoria
I literally started to cry, and ran out of the book store with it in my hands
marisa was close behind, bumping, and knocking over a book shelf on her way out (she barely even noticed)
alex came next, clutching her book for dear life
and then, all three of us colapsed in a fit of uncontrollable laughter
for here, in our very muggle hands, was the last harry potter book
the feeling that I felt...is unexplainible

for me, harry potter was a philosophy, like a religon (on offence intended)
I grew up with it, from when I was in 5th grade
it had been with me all my life
it had seen me through all these years
I knew the charactors as if they were my own friends
I knew their WORLD as if I lived in it myself
having the end of this wonderful saga in my very hands...
it was a feeling of uncontrollable happiness and depression
I cant honestly think of what to compare it, except maybe this:
its like...growing up with a best friend
being with them from the beginning, and watching them progress
and then comes the finale day, when they must leave for the better
and you are so proud, and unimaginably happy
its like that, only TEN TIMES CONCENTRATED
like all these feelings AT ONCE
instead of spread out over time
it was amazing

So when I got home, I didnt start
I wanted to read ALL THE OTHER BOOKS before I read the last one
I had gotten an early start, and was SUPPOSED to continue reading the end of the 5th one
but...after seeing that new 7th book in my room for 2 days
I couldnt resist
I spark-noted the 5th and 6th book
and then I began to read the last

for 4 days, I didnt eat
sleep
bathe
or do anything else
when I went to the bathroom, I took the book with me
my mom, for fear of my health, would occasionally bring up food for me
and if anyone DARED interupt me
they would be swiftly ignored

I know
completly and utterly silly right?

well, I'll say this:
the book was a roller coaster
during the book I cried, ALOT
and sometimes, my smile was SO BIG
it hurt
Somtimes, I would break out in a fit of uncontrolable laughter, and cheering
and then there was anxiousness
and worry
and anger
and relife
sometimes I would shake fro all the excitment
SO MANY EMOTIONS
from one book

and when I finally reached the end,
4 days later at what I want to say was 2:30 am
I finished
and I couldnt help but scream
a long
squeaky
loud-as-hell
SCREAM
(I woke my parents up)

it was all over
harry won
I couldnt stop crying
I couldnt stop laughing, and crying
my body was shaking
my heart was pounding
I swear to god I had gone temporarily insane, I lost control of my limbs
BUT THEY DID IT!!!
all odds were against them
BUT THEY DID IT!!
Neville killed the snake
Mrs.Weasley kill Bellatrix
and Harry...got Voldemort
AT LAST

I was in such a state, I didnt even CARE that the epiloge was SO CHEEZY
at that moment of my life, I can honestly say, was like no other moment in my life
it was so...epic
so....magical
it was unbelievable
and then rest of the night, I stayed awake
I called alex at 3 and we talked about it non stop UNTIL 8
And I FINALLY fell asleep, and cuaght up with my 4 days missed

I remember waking up in time for dinner
ALL I COULD TALK ABOUT WAS HARRY POTTER

and then, at dinner, while there was a storm-watch on the TV
it hit me
harry potter was...over
suddenly, I was overcome with the darkest feelings ever
it...was over....
in essance, it honestly felt like my life was over
I literally cried for 2 weeks
every moment I gathered myself up to stop
I cried harder
it...was over
it was like losing my best friend
only concentrated
ten times worse
it was hard
but, I survived
mostly by going on the internet and reading reviews
looking at the MILLIONS of new fan arts popping up on the DA
listening to the old sountracks from the movies
chatting it up with my friends about the stuff that happened

and as time went on, I found, that I had been reluctant to read anything else while Harry potter was around
and now that it was over...I took advantage of my school library, stocked with old and interesting books
Mirror Mira
The Blue Mirror
Piratica
Eragon
The Princess Bride
and so many others
I missed harry potter SO MUCH
but, I knew I had to move on

So now, I have been reading twilight
I will admit, it isnt much compared to HP
(though I havent gotten very far)
mostly, its just squee worthy
(and I already hate edward, becuase the UGLIEST guy EVER will play him
the dude who played cedric in the HP movies)
but its so cute
maybe it'll get better

and avatar ended yesterday
I LOVE THAT SHOW
so I am too afriad to watch the end
(I watch episodes online)
I mean, what are the chances TWO great things
(one greater than the other, by far)
end at the SAME TIME of year
whats a fan-girl to do?
;___;


I suppose...in a way
this is a memorial of Harry Potter
A memorial to the book that, quite frankly
changed my life
I grew up with it
Harry Potter, in an odd sort of way
RAISED me
and I base alot of my choices on the things I read in the book
it taught me SO many vauble lessons
like how raw nerve, and cleverness can pay off
and how true friendship is priceless

yes...this is a memorial

and a reminder of the fact that....
I havent picked Deathly Hallows up since

today, breifly, I did
I read a few snipets of the 7th
I havent even touched the book since last summer
but, the feelings that the book gave me
JUST FROM READING A FEW PAGES
(ok...I couldnt resist...a whole chapter)
I realize that...harry potter isnt GONE
its just waiting for me to re-explore it
that the magic in books
they never end
they just get a little more familer each time

I think its time to fully re-read the 7th
it'll be like my first time again
it'll be nice to go home
:)